Personality Development

“Personality Development”, how often do we hear this term, from our mentors, our teachers, trainers, our seniors, on the covers of self help books or the banners of institutes and learning centres?

The abundance of the usage of this term clearly signals towards its importance in today’s life. So what do you mean by Personality Development?  Is it something about how you look, or how you speak? Or is it how easily you connect with people? Personality Development is none of these or some where it is all of it. In order to survive in today’s world one needs to be smart and quick witted all the time. It’s no longer just about how much effort you put into your work but one’s personality also has a lot to do with what one achieves.

What is Personality? According to Cambridge International Dictionary of English, your personality is the type of person you are, which is shown by the way you behave, act, react, feel and think.

I was reading a book on “Personality development “ by Swami Vivekananda and according to him, the divine core of our personality is covered as it were by five dimensions:

Physical dimension: Consisting of our body and senses. (i.e. physical look)

Energy dimension: Which performs digestion of food, circulation of blood, respiration & other activities.( fitness, initiatives ,drives, energy level in your body) .

Mental dimension: Characterized by the activities of mind, like thinking, feelings and emotions etc.

Intellectual dimension: Characterized by determinative faculty in a person. This is also the seat of discrimination and will power.

Blissful dimension: Experienced as bliss during deep sleep.

Personality development implies progressive identification with higher dimensions of personality as mentioned above. Thus a person who identified only  with the physical dimension without exercising his higher mental/intellectual faculties, lives not far different from animals whose pleasure and pain are restricted to the sensory system only. Development involves struggle with one’s lower mind characterized by desires, old habits, wrong tendencies, impulses and bad impressions.  The lesser we identify with the lower mind, and the more we identify with the higher mind, and exercise ourbuddhi (discrimination) , the more developed will our personality be. This involves struggle to grapple with one’s mind and it’s old habits, to cultivate new and good habits in a holistic way. But this struggle is the greatest of all struggles in that it makes us more and more civilized in the real sense.

I am giving below few important personality development tips for youngsters, budding managers and my readers:

Know Yourself (Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom -Aristotle): Obviously before you get on developing something you need to know all about it first. The same goes with your personality. One needs  to start with taking a good look at themselves, analyzing their traits, the strengths and weakness and everything that need to be worked upon. Don’t shy away from accepting your flaws and learn about yourself as much as you can.

Bring positivity in your outlook (Positivity can change your life): Your thoughts and your actions both need to be positive in order to have an attractive personality. The way we think has a lot of effect on the way how we act. And if one prospers positive thoughts inside his mind then that also gives him a confidence boost and enhances their personality. Situations and circumstances in life can always be full of  highs and lows. But in order to adopt a positive outlook towards life, you need to find the brighter side of the things and focus on the good parts.

Have an opinion (Your opinion counts): Having an opinion and being able to confidently put it forward doesn’t just help making your conversations interesting but it also makes you look more influential and well informed around other people. Never shy away from projecting your opinions even they happen to conflict with those of other people. Be well informed about all the relevant stuff in your surrounding and feel free to have opinions. It will make yourself feel important too.

Meet new people: Meeting new and different kinds of people is a healthy step towards expanding your horizons and exposing yourself to a larger number of things. You get an opportunity to know more about other cultures and lifestyles and it significantly has a positive effect on your own personality.

Read more often and develop new interests: A man of very few interests has very little to talk about. But if you are well informed about things and cultivate a number of interests, more people tend to like you. You can strike up interesting conversations instead of appearing to be dull and monotonous. When you meet new people you do not have to think about what to say as you can share your knowledge or your interests and get them indulged in conversation.

Be a good listener (Active listener and receptive to feedback): “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” True it is. Being a good listener may not seem like but it is an important step towards achieving a more likeable personality. When somebody talks to you, listen with interest and give them all the attention and importance. Maintain a direct eye contact and do not get distracted by the surroundings. It will help you in knowing a better deal about people and attending them in a better way. At times feedback from your colleagues, seniors and friends also help you to shape your personality better. Therefore one should be receptive to feedback specially when there is scope for correction and improvement.

Be a little fun (fun at work): Oh yes, this is necessary! Being able to find a humorous side in otherwise terrible situations and bringing a little quirkiness of your own is appreciated by one and all. Everybody loves a person who can make them laugh and bring a funny perspective to the regular things of life. One does not need to be all serious and sober all the time but adorning your funny hat (not literally) every once in a while will turn you in to a more charming personality.

Be courteous (keep calm and be courteous): Being courteous is never out of fashion and is well appreciated and respected by everyone. Be humble and greet everyone with a smile. Never shy away from helping or supporting your peers and being available to them whenever they need you. Doing random acts of kindness will not just make somebody else’s day but it will also make you come along as a pleasing person.  Also it will give your personality a confidence boost. Be humble and down to earth to your juniors and seniors alike.

Work on your Body Language (it’s what you don’t say that counts): Body Language is just as important for your personality as your verbal communication skills. It tells a lot about yourself and helps people in making accurate conjectures about you. Everything including the way you talk, sit, or eat leaves an impact over the people around you and having a correct body language can do wonders for your personality. Walk in an upright position with shoulders straight. Do not droop. Sit in a relaxed posture and make always eye contact while speaking.

Check your attire (Dress code): Its gives yourself  a confidence boost knowing that you look and are dressed appropriately. Dress up in a decent manner and while keeping your surroundings in mind.

Be yourself (An original is always worth more than a copy): Though one can always look up to other people to take an  inspiration from, but you  should still remain your own unique self. Each one of us is different, we have our own sets of skills and flaws and trying to be somebody else gets you nowhere and just simply backfires.  Never try moulding  into another person  but instead work on being the best version of yourself.

Be confident ( Be confident  in yourself): Yes, that’s the key. Being confident about who you are and what you are doing is the most  important  tip for personality development. Never doubt your capabilities and if there is something you need to work upon then put in all effort so you can come over your fears and gain confidence. Read  success stories or surround yourself with motivational thoughts or encouragements which can boost up your self esteem and help you in attaining a charming personality. Just everything you do, have faith in yourself and put  in hard work. There can be nothing more appealing in your personality than an  incredible confidence.

Finally Swamijii  advocated  that  it’s your attitude towards failures and mistakes and learn from them  and correct yourself  accordingly, believe in self-reliance as man is the maker of his own destiny, hold and provide selfless service to mankind coupled with renunciation of selfishness and desire for the fruits of action ultimately build  true character and personality.